Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
He did a backflip because drugs
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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