How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize
