Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
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I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
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Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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