Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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