I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Randomize
