Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
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Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
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I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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