oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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