I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
high people should be assigned attendants
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Randomize
