I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Randomize
