This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
