He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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