I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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