i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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