there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
