Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
