When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
