But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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