really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
