I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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