i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
