so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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