Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize