At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
