It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
