What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
