it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
