There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Randomize