I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Randomize
