Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
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Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
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Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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