It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
