There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
