hotel room ftw
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
