Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
