It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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