matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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