I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
