Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
