I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
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