Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
i need to put some appletini on your dick
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
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