Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
