i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
