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Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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