if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
birth control should be required to get into college
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
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