Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
