Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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