what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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