I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
