Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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