He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
