dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
