If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
that is very illegal...i love you.
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