That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
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