I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize