Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
