Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
