I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize