I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
