So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
